


Would that I Could

by Icie



Series: SASO 2015 Bonus Round fills [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Soul Bond, minor sports injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 18:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4232874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icie/pseuds/Icie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulbond AU, non-romantic.</p><p>At the end of the day, Kuroo wouldn't change a thing.</p><p> </p><p>Written for SASO BR2</p>
            </blockquote>





	Would that I Could

Tetsurou is hearing voices.

Or, not really _voices_ voices. But sidelong thoughts, that slip on out after moments and leave the inside of his mouth feeling alien, they make him want to press his finger through his cheek and into bone so he can scratch his brain. If it was three years ago, he would put it down to puberty.

But this is probably not puberty.

He shakes the feeling loose as best he can, and grins as he sees a familiar slouch, in a grassy corner of Nekoma's courtyard. "You're going to get stains on your pants, sitting like that."

Kenma casts an eye upwards, keeping his fingers moving on his PSP. "They're black..."

"Doesn't mean they can't stain," Tetsurou replies, dropping down next to him and pressing up against his side. The characters on Kenma's PSP's screen are unfamiliar, but Tetsurou doesn't remember Kenma buying anything recently. "This new?"

Kenma shakes his head, eyes locked back on the screen, fingers never missing a beat. "Tobio lent it to me."

Tetsurou's eyebrows shoot up of their own accord and a smile creeps into place on his face. "That right?"

A rush of pleased embarrassment hits him and he misses Kenma's reply. It's like the feeling he got when he told his mum he made captain and she rushed for the phone and her camera and tried to call her friends with the camera and take a picture of him with the phone.

"Sorry, what?" Tetsurou asks, half stumbling through his words.

The embarrassment fades and leaves behind the same uncomfortable sensation as all the not-actually-voices. "He thought I would like it."

"I guess you do," Tetsurou says as he notices the level in the corner reading '64'.

He wraps his arm around Kenma and gives him a squeeze. It worries Tetsurou how much time Kenma spends only with him and the rest of the team. And even as much of an incorrigible part of that team as Lev is, Tetsurou wouldn't describe his iterations with Kenma as friendship. It's more of a resigned acceptance that, no matter what, Lev will get into trouble, and Kenma might as well go along from the start to reduce the damage. Someone wanting to lend Kenma a game because he thought Kenma would like it, well, that's new.

Kenma shrugs, but Tetsurou can see the smile in his eyes.

\----

From: Tsukki ❤❤  
it's amazing anyone in your team listens to you

To: Tsukki ❤❤  
they hang off my every word, its p rewarding really

From: Tsukki ❤❤  
stop texting me and do your captain things. before your ego makes your head explode.

To: Tsukki ❤❤  
captain things dont start 4 another 2 mins, im good.

Predictably, Tsukishima doesn't reply before Tetsurou pulls open the door to the gym, but he keeps his phone out and in hand, just in case.

 _Again?_ crosses his mind. Tetsurou blinks, that wasn't a text from Tsukishima, or anyone else. But it sits as a fully formed idea in his head until he flips his phone closed and puts on his captain face, ready to make the most of his time at practice.

Practice runs smoothly as usual, after they finish, and Tetsurou has passed on his important captain observations and encouragements, he and Kenma walk home together at Kenma's pace, Tetsurou occasionally nudging his back or pulling his elbow so he doesn't walk into the gutter, lamp posts, fences or any other obstacles.

"Want to come over?" Tetsurou asks as they reach the corner where their paths home split, but Kenma shakes his head.

"I've got to get home,"

"Battery going flat, huh?" He's not asking, he just knows it is. But it wouldn't be a baseless assumption even if he wasn't sure - Kenma's been playing that game all day.

\----

  
The absent thoughts only get clearer and more pervasive through the rest of the week, on Saturday they have a practice match after classes and his mind is a constant stream of thoughts that just aren't his. They're observations of everyone around them, of Nekoma and the opposition - _Hibiya High School_ , the thoughts provide - with all kinds of details that are useful but make Tetsurou's stomach churn.

Nekomata-sensei calls a time out and Tetsurou makes sure to jog over with a smile, before the rest of his team, because he doesn't need the thoughts to tell him that Nekomata-sensei wants a word.

 _Don't worry, we'll win,_ rings through his head.

Tetsurou swallows down bile.

"Kuroo, are you okay?" Nekomata-sensei asks, pulling Tetsurou back to reality.

Lying always grates on him, but he doesn't hesitate before nodding and laughing. "Yeah, don't worry about me."

Nekomata-sensei wants to say more, but the rest of the team gather round and divert his attention.

The thoughts stay almost silent for the rest of the match, however, two stick out. The first hits him under his ribs as he jumps up to force his hands in the way of Hibiya's #6's spike, it tells him to move his hand left. He does. The ball slaps straight into it and down onto Hibiya's side of the court.

The other is during the final push, the whole team pants as they wait for Hibiya's setter to serve. Every player on Tetsurou's side has been playing their hardest and still are, even though it's their match point and they're ten points up on the other team - Tetsurou is proud of them, he isn't captain of a bunch of layabouts. Even Kenma's lips are parted to allow more air into his lungs. This other thought lands more gently than the one before, _keep playing_ , lodges in his throat and mind as sharp pain that isn't his wraps around his ankle. He grits his teeth and obeys the thought - it worked before - and he knocks the ball down, over the net, and lands, good foot first, his other ankle throbbing with phantom pain.

He whips around to see what happened. The whistle must have blown but Tetsurou didn't hear it, too busy fixating on Kenma, who sits on the ground with his eyes squeezed shut in pain as he rests back on his elbows.

Tetsurou has only seen Kenma make a face that vivid a handful of times. He never wants to see it again.

Yaku's at his elbow and hovering, while the ref and Nekomata-sensei hustle to get a first-aid kit.

"He landed funny from the set, he'll be fine," Yaku says. Tetsurou knows he's trying to convince himself, but the reassurance helps, just a little.

The rest of the team are crowding into their space and Tetsurou makes out the Hibiya team standing awkwardly behind the net. "Kai, can you take these guys to cool down?" Tetsurou says, attempting to cover the shake in his voice with his usual captain inflections. Kai does, waving stray teammates off towards the corner of the gym.

Yaku stays, but Tetsurou figured he would, and he doesn't mind, Yaku's the only one on the team likely to be as helpful as he is nervous.

With some breathing room, it's easier to focus on Kenma, his ankle might be swelling but it's difficult to tell. Neither of them touch it, and Kenma's eyes remain squeezed shut.

"It's not that bad," he mumbles.

Tetsurou barks an unconvincing laugh. "You told me last time you hurt yourself that it was 'too much of a bother to sit out'. It's bad."

Yaku looks between Tetsurou and Kenma, before settling his gaze on Tetsurou. He pulls his lip between his teeth and releases it, then asks, hesitation present in both his tone and posture, "Did you hurt yourself, too?"

Tetsurou jerks upright from where he'd been slouching over Kenma, he had stuck his leg out, but his pain's been fading, and it's all in his head anyway. "I'm good," he says, shortly. It's nothing.

"We'll be fine," Kenma confirms, and something about the way he says it convinces Tetsurou that it might be true. He doesn't want to move his ankle, but it's true: they will be fine.

\----

  
Later, Kenma limps along the path towards home, his ankle is strapped up and he's taken painkillers, but he insisted that he could make the ten minute walk and that if he couldn't, Tetsurou could carry him. The sad thing is, Tetsurou would.

Kenma's PSP doesn't make an appearance, and Tetsurou wonders if it's that change that has him bubbling with anxiety. Kenma is on edge, too, but Tetsurou is probably the only one who could tell.

"Ankle hurt much?"

Kenma shakes his head and keeps his eyes ducked to his feet.

They walk a few steps in silence, as Tetsurou keeps ond eye out for anything interesting and his other eye on Kenma, looking for any trace of pain.

Kenma looks up, and straight through Tetsurou. _You can hear me, can't you?_

The bottom drops out of Tetsurou's stomach and the thought - _Kenma's_ thought - hits him like an ice cold wave.

"Y-yeah," Tetsurou splutters out, trying to make his tongue work through the shock.

"I thought so," Kenma says out loud, and continues without moving his lips, _I worked it out during the match._ He's fiddling with the strap of his bag and Tetsurou can't tell where his own nerves stop and where Kenma's begin.

This means-

"I do know."

Ringing sounds between Tetsurou's ears. This isn't the way he wanted his confession to go. He swallows to try and force the sound away.

"Are you going to let me say it?" he attempts to chuckle, but he knows it sounds forced and knows Kenma can feel his pain, even though Tetsurou's smile doesn't show as much as there is. He can feel Kenma's ankle throb.

 _You don't have to,_ Kenma thinks at him. It's layered with sadness.

Tetsurou's heart twists. "I want to," he says, then rushes on before Kenma can get in more words, thought or spoken. "I love you."

"I know," Kenma says, and he sends the words as a thought at the same time. He swallows and Tetsurou takes him by the shoulders and wraps his arms around him.

"It's okay," Tetsurou's mind is only filled with Kenma's emotions, "you don't have to tell me the other thing."

He doesn't have to tell him because Tetsurou knows already. He knows Kenma doesn't love him - not romantically - knows he doesn't love anyone like that.

Kenma offers up a few thoughts, that if he could for anyone he'd want it to be Tetsurou, that he thinks he can shut whatever this is down if Tetsurou doesn't want it.

Tetsurou doesn't reply with words, instead sends soothing thoughts about the things that always calm him down, though he doesn't know if they'll work on Kenma. Thoughts of his team at his back, laughter and the peaceful morning they spent together watching the sunrise when Tetsurou dragged Kenma away from a game he'd played though the night. If nothing else, he feels he has to because Tetsurou knows Kenma's lying. He wouldn't want to love Tetsurou and he has to keep this.

 _I love you, and I want this._ Tetsurou brushes his lips over the black roots of Kenma's hair. He loves him. And they're a part of one another.


End file.
